God, Why Me?

  I often look at my life and wonder why You have chosen me. I mean, I have never done anything extraordinary or too meaningful. I'm not a good person by any means and I don't set myself in position to change the world. The life I have made for myself is utterly chaotic and yet You still choose to bless me? I can say that I don't now, or ever will understand Your interest in me. I do not deserve a single blessing from You.

  What could possibly be so special about me? A broken guy with a painful past? One who can barely hold on to any hope? Why do you continue to work in my life? How am I worthy enough to be so beautifully chosen to spread Your word? Why would such a divine being such as yourself choose to love such a wretched soul?

  Time and time again these thoughts flood my mind. I try to dismiss them, but they are too powerful for me. I consistently wish I could just scramble my brains so I don't have to worry about them. At these times I feel so apart from God that life doesn't seem to have any purpose.Why should I continue to waste time on this planet if there is no reason for me?

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

  These thoughts are provoked by the adversary. He tries to beat us down and pull us away from God. Why might he try this? Well, it's because he is afraid. He doesn't seem to realize that he has already been defeated, but he has. We read about this in Revelation.

 “And there was a war in heaven: Michael and his angels waging war with the dragon. And the dragon and his angels waged war, but he did not have the strength to win, and there was no longer a place found for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, the ancient serpent, the one who is called the devil and Satan, the one who deceives the whole inhabited earth – he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. And I heard a loud voice in heaven saying, 'Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ, because the accuser of our brothers was thrown down, the one who accuses them before our God day and night.' And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life up to death." Revelation 12: 7-11 
 
  We have victory in Jesus! However, let us not rush past a key part in Revelation 12:11. Our testimony is monumental in the defeat of the enemy. I have been failing to share my testimony and because of that, Satan still has a stronghold on me. I don't like this stronghold, so I must fight back. I am choosing life, and with life, I must share the testimonial life that I have been ever so blessed with.

  We each have a testimony whether we believe it or not. I pray that everyone gains the courage to share their testimony and that we, together with Jesus, can defeat Satan! Amen.