God, Why Me?

  I often look at my life and wonder why You have chosen me. I mean, I have never done anything extraordinary or too meaningful. I'm not a good person by any means and I don't set myself in position to change the world. The life I have made for myself is utterly chaotic and yet You still choose to bless me? I can say that I don't now, or ever will understand Your interest in me. I do not deserve a single blessing from You.

  What could possibly be so special about me? A broken guy with a painful past? One who can barely hold on to any hope? Why do you continue to work in my life? How am I worthy enough to be so beautifully chosen to spread Your word? Why would such a divine being such as yourself choose to love such a wretched soul?

  Time and time again these thoughts flood my mind. I try to dismiss them, but they are too powerful for me. I consistently wish I could just scramble my brains so I don't have to worry about them. At these times I feel so apart from God that life doesn't seem to have any purpose.Why should I continue to waste time on this planet if there is no reason for me?

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

  These thoughts are provoked by the adversary. He tries to beat us down and pull us away from God. Why might he try this? Well, it's because he is afraid. He doesn't seem to realize that he has already been defeated, but he has. We read about this in Revelation.

 “And there was a war in heaven: Michael and his angels waging war with the dragon. And the dragon and his angels waged war, but he did not have the strength to win, and there was no longer a place found for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, the ancient serpent, the one who is called the devil and Satan, the one who deceives the whole inhabited earth – he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. And I heard a loud voice in heaven saying, 'Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ, because the accuser of our brothers was thrown down, the one who accuses them before our God day and night.' And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life up to death." Revelation 12: 7-11 
 
  We have victory in Jesus! However, let us not rush past a key part in Revelation 12:11. Our testimony is monumental in the defeat of the enemy. I have been failing to share my testimony and because of that, Satan still has a stronghold on me. I don't like this stronghold, so I must fight back. I am choosing life, and with life, I must share the testimonial life that I have been ever so blessed with.

  We each have a testimony whether we believe it or not. I pray that everyone gains the courage to share their testimony and that we, together with Jesus, can defeat Satan! Amen.

The Beginning of the Fast

 Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the lent season. For the first time in my life I will actually be observing Lent. For the next 46 days I will be eating strictly raw vegetables, fruits, nuts and beans(Daniel Fast). This will be quite the change in my diet as I have recently been eating tons of processed meats, cheeses, and noodles. 

 My flatmates and I just got back from our first shopping experience to start off the fasting. What an experience it was. I have never spent my entire time grocery shopping in the produce section. After about 45 minutes we had a cart full and ready to go. We have also purged our apartment of all things not Daniel Fast appropriate. 

 I am expected a great spiritual awareness during this season. I hope to get back to the point where I rely wholly on God. I already know that I will be tempted often to stray even the slightest bit from the strict diet I have agreed to. In these moments I pray that I can be strong and that it draws me nearer to God. 

 I ask that you consider praying for my flatmates and myself, as well as the others embarking on such a journey. There are a little over 20 of us that have decided to take part in the Daniel Fast during Lent. Some people are not going to stick to the bare minimum for health or other reasons. I, however, feel led to stay strict in order to get back to that place that I once was with my Father.

 I plan to post a new blog at least three times a week, if not more, as I journey deep into a diet completely against my norm. I would love to get feedback with your thoughts and prayers as well as what you are giving up for lent if you are to partake. Thank you for reading and have a blessed day. 

Suggested Topic #1

I have decided to open up my blog for topic suggestions. Basically this is a motivator to keep me writing when I don't have any fresh ideas. If you'd like to suggest a topic send a tweet to @GregRiffle and be sure to include your topic as well as the hashtag #BeardedBalanceIdea.

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My first suggested topic comes from my good friend Shelby.

@Shelbs28 

"@GregRiffle #BeardedBalanceIdea: Write about how awesome you think I am and the joys of having me as your best friend. Lol."

 In 2007 I went on my very first mission trip with the student ministry of Granger Community Church. The trip was local and focused on partnerships with organizations in our own community. I still hadn't known very many people at this point since I was still pretty new to the whole church scene.

 When I first arrived at the hotel I took my bags to the meeting room and saw a few tables set up and a handful of people talking to one another. I mingled a little bit here and there and started to learn some names and faces. One of these people was a girl named Shelby Trusty. 

 Shelby is the type of person many people want to know. She is sweet, sincere, honest, and kind. She has a heart that will change the lives of many people. The joy she has in serving in the student ministry is beyond remarkable. 

 Through the years we have grown to know each other on a deep level. If I ever need any sort of advice or just need someone to talk to, she is there for me. She has given me a lot of spiritual advice that has helped shape me into who I am. 

 From time to time we argue and bicker at one another. However, even in these times, I know I am deeply blessed to have her in my life. She is my closest friend and without her in my life, I'd be even more of a mess than I am. I don't think I could ever have a better friend than I do in her. 

 Oh, and one more thing, she has a beautiful singing voice! If you have been blessed by her singing, you can think me later for encouraging her to get on stage and share it with you. :p

Incomplete Work

 Do you ever begin a task with every intention of completing it but never actually getting around to doing so? Yea...me too. It can be quite frustrating at times. Often times I go so far as feeling the sense of being a failure due to the inability to complete a predetermined task. Why is it that we do this? Why are we able to start something with every intention to finish it, yet we don't? I have a few ideas.

 I've noticed a pattern in my incomplete assignments. It's not lack of motivation, it's not lack of interest, and it certainly isn't lack of ability. What it tends to be for me is the lack of gathering the necessary materials.

 No matter what you are trying to complete, there is always a list of pre-task materials. If you're writing a blog or a paper, you should gather your thoughts on paper before engaging. If you are painting a room, you should be sure and have enough paint, brushes, and plastic coverings so you don't ruin your carpet. If you are building a dresser, you might want to be sure to have the right amount of wood as well as the proper tools in your shed.

 I feel like the same thing happens in our walk with Christ. We may, from time to time, set out fully motivated to BE the Church as we are called to do. So why don't we? It goes back to what I was saying about the carnal tasks we set out to do. Lack of starting material.

 If we wish to fully extend our reach to the depths of the hurting and the dens of the needy, then we must be fully prepared. We must engage in Bible reading, we should be sure to be ready for all attacks of Satan, and we might want to be open and caring enough to love everybody equally.

 When we adequately prepare ourselves we cannot and will not be stopped. So with that, I ask of you, are you preparing yourself? Is there a reason your tasks stay incomplete more often than not? I challenge you to prepare your body, mind, and soul. Then let's see how much we can complete.


James 2:17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Psalm 1 Break Down Part 1

Psa 1:1  Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 

Psa 1:2  But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 

Psa 1:3  And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 

Psa 1:4  The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 

Psa 1:5  Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 

Psa 1:6  For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. 

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Thursday night at Impact we were encouraged to meditate on Psalm 1 this week. To help me with that and gain further insight, I decided I'd break it down verse by verse.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

Let's take a look at the meaning of the words in bold. For this, I will be using the Strong's Hebrew & Greek Lexicon.

• Blessed - 'esher(H835), meaning happiness. 'Esher comes from the word 'âshar(H833), meaning to go forward or prosper.
• Counsel - ‛êtsâh(H6098),  meaning advice or plan.
• Ungodly - râshâ‛(H7563); morally wrong
• Standeth - ‛âmad(H5975); abide (behind), appoint, arise, cease, confirm, continue, dwell, be employed, endure, establish, leave, make, ordain
• Way - derek(H1870); along, conversation, custom, journey, manner
• Scornful - lûts(H3887); to scof, to make a mock, mocker

 My version:

Happy/prosperous is the man that doesn't take advice from the morally impaired nor abide by the customs of the sinners, nor sits as the mockers.

 Thoughts:

It is often times easy for us to get caught up in the what everyone around us is doing. If we let ourselves lose focus of God and fall into the traps the devil has set we will have difficulty in finding happiness.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 

• Delight - chêphets(H2656); pleasure, desire, willingly
• Law - tôrâh(H8451); a precept or statute
• Meditate - hâgâh(H1897); study

 My version: 

But he willingly is in the law of the LORD; he studies the law both day and night.

 Thoughts:

We should have a desire for knowing the word of God so much that we willingly study it often.

Season of Sorrow

Maw-maw, my maw-maw, where are you tonight? This is the 4th Christmas I will have to endure without your presence. As the pain sets in I miss you more. Life has not been the same since you left us all those years ago. You kept our family alive. We have slithered to destruction without you as our glue. I never thought we could fall apart so much. I just want to scream and pull my hair out. I know you will never read this or never know how much I miss you.

Unworthy and Worthless

Often times throughout my life I would look in the mirror and simply whisper the word "worthless". This is what I ultimately thought of myself.

What does it mean to be worthless? Being worthless means to have no value, no meaning, no use.

Without value, use or meaning there is no reason to live or even want to live.

Naturally, since I thought myself to be worthless, I also thought myself to be unworthy. What was I unworthy of? Love. Acceptance. Friendship. Life.

Why would anyone ever look at me and love me for me? No one would ever be able to love such an unworthy person.

Unworthy and worthless. Nothing more. At least, that is what I thought. It was a long and lonely trip deep into a dark pit of despair and abandonment of any care before finding out how truly wrong I was.

Imagine the darkest black you have ever seen. Impenetrable by light. Sucking away all life from anything in existence. That was my address. The place I called home. A home in which one could not find enough comfort to sleep, but also no reason to stay awake. Being ripped apart by each demented thought. Being choked by the lies of Satan. No hope and no reason remained.

Then suddenly, blasting away the darkness, came a love unlike any other. Jesus came running for me. Fighting away all the demons I let consume me. He placed me on His shoulders and carried me away from that pit. Taking the jabs for me. Bloody and bruised, he redeemed me. Freed me from my prison.

Jesus gave me a home on His shoulders. I never have to leave. I can rest comfortably on His shoulders as long as I want to. This is my new home.

Jesus let me know that I am worthy. I am worthy of His love, His acceptance, His friendship, and His life. I do have worth. I am worth His blood and His body. He took on flesh and accepted a brutal death so that I don't have to suffer.

Purely by the grace of God I am worthy and I have worth!