Complaining About a Luxury

This past weekend I got an amazing opportunity to go on a Fall Retreat with a group of college students associated with Impact Campus Ministries. Many things occurred during the retreat and I will post about a majority of it later. However, I really feel God tugging on my heart to first share about one thing in particular that He revealed to me.

 One frigid autumn evening a young man is about to turn-in for the night. He dons his pajamas, lays out his pillow, opens up his sleeping bag and slips inside. Slightly chilled he decides to zip the sleeping bag all the way up and cover his head. The young man tosses and turns a few times and finally drifts off to sleep.
 About a half hour into his sleep, he awakes. Thinking to himself, "This cot is too thin, this bunk is too loud, this bag is too small, and it's just way too hot in this cabin!" After a few adjustments the young man gives it another try. Soon, he is able to nod off yet again. Many times throughout the night a similar scenario takes place. Never completely reaching a comfortable state.
 *Beep Beep* *Beep Beep* *Beep Beep*  It is now 6:35 in the morning. The young man, drenched in sweat and wholly disgusted, reaches over and shuts off the alarm. Excited about what God has in store for him he decides to move past the vexatious evening and hop into the shower.
 Feeling clean and rejuvenated he makes his way down to the fellowship hall. Still a bit sleepy-eyed he chooses to grab a cup of coffee and sit down by the fire. No one else is around. He finds it is a good time to read his bible and journal a bit about the previous evening.
 One after another, people begin to trickle in. Some will gather around various games and others will cozy up near the fire. A hallow hum of conversation occupies the atmosphere. In no time, the inevitable question finds its way to the young man. "How did you sleep last night?" one student inquires. The young man replies, "Not well at all. It was way too hot in the cabin. I was covered in sweat when I woke up." The student agrees it was a bit warmer than he would have preferred. In and out of conversation the palaver finally dies away, leaving the young man, once again, to his own thoughts.
 A few minutes into thought and "BAM!", it hits him, "I just complained about a luxury, a blessing, than many people go without." 

Yea, this is a true story. I caught myself complaining about something God blessed me with. Many people are, right at this very moment, laying on hard ground and shivering. Some may have multiple layers of clothes they found laying around or some old newspapers to lay on, but many of them have not even that. Not a stitch of extra blanket, not a bit of padding to place between their body and the frosty ground. Some people beg for change so they can buy booze in order to gain the false sense of heat hoping to combat against the nippy winds that rips through their dilapidated clothing. While there are people out there freezing to death, I am complaining about being warm.

Previously this year I met nearly 20 different homeless men and women. Some of them are able to find a bed at a local shelter when the temperatures decrease. While others are turned away due to over-crowding. I normally would have expected these people to be faithless. Not so. Even when faced with such hard times, more than a few of these people were completely thankful to God for anything and everything they had. If they were blessed with extra food, they willingly offered it to another person of misfortune that needed it.

My brethren that go without do not complain about having too little, yet I complain about too much?

Talk about God blasting you in the face with a revelation! I am grateful that he did. I hope that I can take this encounter and carry it through life. When I begin to complain about all that I have, I pray that I will be reminded of this moment and instead of complaining shout thanks to the Provider.

Thank you Jesus for the luxury to be too warm.

 

Casting Crowns - Come To The Well

I am absolutely loving this album! I am sure you will too. Enjoy it!

A Letter To My Dad

Tonight I went with a few people to see the movie Courageous. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Also, take lots of tissues. Courageous is about a few fathers who decide "good enough" isn't enough. They sign a covenant between them, God and their families to go that extra mile. Even though I am not a father, this movie hit home really hard. At one point in the movie, the Sheriff reads some statistics to the men about those who grow up without their fathers are several times more likely to commit suicide, or even more so to turn to a life of crime. Even though I knew my father and had a step-dad in the home, I still felt fatherless. I have held much resentment for my birth father for many years. After seeing this movie, I feel I need to write my father a letter and express to him how I feel. These are some things I have held on to for years and it is time I relieve myself of it. I pray that everyone gets to grow up with a father they know loves them. If you are not so lucky, I pray that you are blessed as I am to realize that no matter your relationship your earthly father, you have a father in Heaven that absolutely adores you and laid down his own life so that you may live. I wouldn't normally post something so personal on a blog, but my hope is that this will give you the courage to repair any broken relationship you may have with your parents or children. Feel free to read the letter I am writing to my father.

Dear dad,

  I just finished watching the movie "Courageous" and felt a need to share with you some things I have been carrying for a long time.

As you may know, I just had my 22nd birthday. After 22 years, I don't really know you. Sure, you have been around and you didn't completely abandon me, but you also weren't there when I needed you. I have so few memories with you growing up. What I remember most is any time I was at grandma's I wished that you would show up. When I would hear you were going to come over I would sleep on the front porch because I knew it would make the time between then and when you showed up feel significantly less. Any moment I got to spend with you was something I treasured dearly.

As I grew older I had less of an expectation to see you. As that expectation grew more and more shallow, the need grew deeper. I needed a dad in my life and couldn't look at you as mine. I prayed that you would call and want to see me. I rarely received such call. I started to realize that you had a family that needed you and you had to be there for them. But even though I realized that and lived with my mom and step-dad, I remained broken and alone. I fell deep into depression, not because of you, but you weren't there.

You would sometimes tell me to call if I wanted to spend time with you. I never did. Why? I didn't call because I didn't want to be needy and pull you away from your real family to spend time with your bastard child. I still had a need, however, to want to be wanted by my dad. I wanted a dad that loved me out of choice, not out of necessity.

I have held on to resentment of you for the last few years. I trained myself to not think of you as my father, but as an uncle. I know you are my father, but the connection between a dad and his child was never there. But it is okay. I am writing this letter to you not to make you feel guilty, but to tell you I forgive you. Also, you have three children living with you of whom it is not too late to be a dad to. Don't let work and stress overtake your life and steal away your time to be a dad. Be there for them. Not out of obligation, but out of love. I pray that you choose to be not just their father, but even more so, be their daddy. Be the one they can look to for sound advice, be the one they can learn from, be the one they can lean on when their heart is broken. Don't let them go away feeling resentment.

As I mentioned earlier, my 22nd birthday just passed. This was a day of deep depression for me. It reminded me that the one person I looked up to and actually felt loved by was no longer with us. Usually this is a day of celebration for being alive another year. But instead, for me, it was a day of mourning for the loss of grandma. Even though I had slept most the day away, I was happy when the doorbell rang and Karen woke me up saying you were there. Turns out, it was the pastor and his wife from a church she attended and they drove a car similar to yours.

There is so much I wanted to say in this letter but I just can't think clearly right now. I pray that I will soon have the courage to talk about this with you face to face and that you will be willing to listen. I love you.

Your son,
Greg

I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.

1 Oh, what joy for those

      whose disobedience is forgiven,

      whose sin is put out of sight!

 2 Yes, what joy for those

      whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

      whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

 3 When I refused to confess my sin,

      my body wasted away,

      and I groaned all day long.

 4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.

      My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

                         

 5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you

      and stopped trying to hide my guilt.

   I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”

      And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Psalm 32: 1-5

Yup, that's right. If we stop trying to cover-up our transgressions from the God that knows all, we can live free of guilt! This is great news. I don't know about you, but I am sure tired of hiding from God and covering up my sins. Verses 3 and 4 are probably some of the hardest words for me to grasp. Really. Think about it. Is it true that we may be causing some of the problems in our own lives? Well that is what it looks like. If we continue to hide our sins from God, how is he supposed to offer us the grace that we long for? When I read verse 5, I get such an amazing revelation. I no longer have to suffer guilt! I confess and I am forgiven and am cleansed of all guilt. Hallelujah! 

Abba, I come to you in complete surrender. I have sinned against you and your Name. I vow to never hide anything from you again. This guilt I have suffered for so long, I lay it at your feet. I am sorry for all the times I have turned away from you and was too ashamed to ask for your forgiveness. Please, Oh Lord, settle into my heart and never let me push you out. Cleanse me, Father, of all the sins I have committed against you. My addictions that get in the way of me loving you wholly, my lack of trust, my stubbornness, my fears, Lord, I lay it all down and pray that you will free me from the shackles of guilt I have put myself in. Amen, and amen.