Unworthy and Worthless

Often times throughout my life I would look in the mirror and simply whisper the word "worthless". This is what I ultimately thought of myself.

What does it mean to be worthless? Being worthless means to have no value, no meaning, no use.

Without value, use or meaning there is no reason to live or even want to live.

Naturally, since I thought myself to be worthless, I also thought myself to be unworthy. What was I unworthy of? Love. Acceptance. Friendship. Life.

Why would anyone ever look at me and love me for me? No one would ever be able to love such an unworthy person.

Unworthy and worthless. Nothing more. At least, that is what I thought. It was a long and lonely trip deep into a dark pit of despair and abandonment of any care before finding out how truly wrong I was.

Imagine the darkest black you have ever seen. Impenetrable by light. Sucking away all life from anything in existence. That was my address. The place I called home. A home in which one could not find enough comfort to sleep, but also no reason to stay awake. Being ripped apart by each demented thought. Being choked by the lies of Satan. No hope and no reason remained.

Then suddenly, blasting away the darkness, came a love unlike any other. Jesus came running for me. Fighting away all the demons I let consume me. He placed me on His shoulders and carried me away from that pit. Taking the jabs for me. Bloody and bruised, he redeemed me. Freed me from my prison.

Jesus gave me a home on His shoulders. I never have to leave. I can rest comfortably on His shoulders as long as I want to. This is my new home.

Jesus let me know that I am worthy. I am worthy of His love, His acceptance, His friendship, and His life. I do have worth. I am worth His blood and His body. He took on flesh and accepted a brutal death so that I don't have to suffer.

Purely by the grace of God I am worthy and I have worth!

If Jesus Returned Tomorrow

When I was a child my family did not regularly attend church. With my two older brothers I often attended various youth groups. We pretty much just went for the fun and games. I remember when I was around 9 or 10 we discussed when we would start living a Christian lifestyle. I stated that when I turned 40 I would probably then be willing and ready to live life as a Christian.

Last night at the Impact bible study one questioned asked was, "Are you anticipating the return of Jesus?" After some discussion, one student boldly declared, "Many people would live differently if they knew Jesus would return tomorrow. I know I would." That just pains my soul so I could only imagine how that makes Jesus feel. Many of us, myself included, aren't living wholly for Jesus and realize there are some things we have to change before His return. The return of the Messiah is near, but there are some things that still have to happen, according to the bible, before it takes place. Knowing this makes it easier for many of us to live in sin. By sin I mean not completely sanctified in His spirit.

What are we waiting for? We may not all live to be 40 so why continue to wait? Jesus here now. Calling to us and asking us to follow him. Giving us many opportunities and reasons to, yet we still hold back? Holding back from the One who came and died and defeated Satan and gives us life. To me it doesn't make any sense.


This leads me to my question. If Jesus returned tomorrow, would you know Him? Matthew 24:24 states "For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very Elect" To me that is something that makes me want to know Jesus even more. I don't want to be deceived by a false prophet. The only way I find it possible to not be taken by one of the false prophets is to not depend on Jesus for His miracles, but instead for His love and relationship. If we can get ourselves to develop a relationship with Christ and not what He does for us, we will be ready for His return.

The day Jesus does return will be a beautiful day. For this day I cannot wait. But until that day is upon us I will continue to fashion my life in a way that not only glorifies God, but also brings people to know Him. Praise be to God.

I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.

1 Oh, what joy for those

      whose disobedience is forgiven,

      whose sin is put out of sight!

 2 Yes, what joy for those

      whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

      whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

 3 When I refused to confess my sin,

      my body wasted away,

      and I groaned all day long.

 4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.

      My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

                         

 5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you

      and stopped trying to hide my guilt.

   I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”

      And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Psalm 32: 1-5

Yup, that's right. If we stop trying to cover-up our transgressions from the God that knows all, we can live free of guilt! This is great news. I don't know about you, but I am sure tired of hiding from God and covering up my sins. Verses 3 and 4 are probably some of the hardest words for me to grasp. Really. Think about it. Is it true that we may be causing some of the problems in our own lives? Well that is what it looks like. If we continue to hide our sins from God, how is he supposed to offer us the grace that we long for? When I read verse 5, I get such an amazing revelation. I no longer have to suffer guilt! I confess and I am forgiven and am cleansed of all guilt. Hallelujah! 

Abba, I come to you in complete surrender. I have sinned against you and your Name. I vow to never hide anything from you again. This guilt I have suffered for so long, I lay it at your feet. I am sorry for all the times I have turned away from you and was too ashamed to ask for your forgiveness. Please, Oh Lord, settle into my heart and never let me push you out. Cleanse me, Father, of all the sins I have committed against you. My addictions that get in the way of me loving you wholly, my lack of trust, my stubbornness, my fears, Lord, I lay it all down and pray that you will free me from the shackles of guilt I have put myself in. Amen, and amen.

Are you fired up for Jesus?

Really, are you fired up for Jesus? WAIT! Don't you dare answer that with word! What are you thinking? Show Him! Don't show me. Don't show your pastor. Don't show your congregation. Show Him! Do you want to dance for joy every time you hear the name of Jesus? Why aren't you rejoicing? Did you hear what I just said? J-E-S-U-S! Do you understand what a truly remarkable name that is? Do you understand what He did for you and I? The God of the Universe got up off his throne and became a man. Yea...a man. Would you be willing to leave your throne if you were THE KING? The King over all? Would you sacrifice yourself to become a human being? AH! I just want to leap for joy at the mere utterance of His name! So let me do this again...JESUS! Right now, no matter where you are or who is around, get up and do a little dance of joy for the Lord! I think he deserves it. Don't you? Anyway, back to my original question. Are you truly fired up? We shouldn't have to actually answer that question because it should be shown through or everyday life. Ever single thing we do should be in honor of the greatest love of all, Jesus Christ of Nazareth! Glorify the name of the King with your every action, every word, your every breath! Let's do this together. As the greatest family on the face of the earth. Let us come together and live as one for the joy of the Lord! Let us shout in unison through our hearts the joy we have for Him, Jehovah! Love on your brothers and sisters. Shun no one. Leave no one out. This is the greatest family ever and all are welcome to enter in. The invitation has been extended by the head of the family, and we must welcome everyone as a member. Brothers and Sisters, let us lift up one another unto the Lord. Through this, we will show Him that we truly care for Him! Our actions shall be louder than any words. It's time to live for him fired up! I hope you are now fired up! Let's go heal the world!