God is Great!

So the other day I posted a blog expressing some discomfort I had. I was a bit angry at God, yet(what I thought was) understanding. Well, it turns out, I was wrong. I was having a conversation with God at work he informed me why I was feeling so down. It's because I went against him without realizing it. There was something that was going on that was kind of a big deal. He had told me to wait. I was trying to, yet I ended up not. I had let my carnal feelings get above God. With great regret, I went ahead and did what I was supposed to wait on before it was time. And THIS is why I started feeling down. Sorry, to my God, that I went against your very word. You are so amazing. Thank you for giving me this revelation. I love you, Abba! Teach me to be more like you are.

Cry in the night.

Well, it's happened yet again. I've let myself believe I could be happy until the end. I let myself begin to feel. Numbness buried by love. Brokenhearted, but beginning to heal. I laid it all on the line. Excited to be free until the end of time. My brain told me no, but my heart said it was okay. Once again, my heart has led me astray. This time though, I do not take on full responsibility. I am once again finding myself blaming God. I am slightly angry and wholly ruined. I had hope for the future. Hope of which I knew not about for the longest of time. I tore down my walls and exposed my heart. Only to have it torn out once again. My God, you said you would bring me happiness and joy. I trust you know what you are doing, though I do not understand. Maybe I will never understand. I finally started to believe I was no longer destined to be alone on this earth. But in an instance, that has disappeared. Why did I ever, for even a moment, allow myself to believe I didn't have to be like Paul? Why did I dream of wedding bells and a family? Why, oh God, did you allow me to succumb to such treachery? Restore me God to my ways of apathy. Make me stronger. Keep me from allowing myself to love again. I don't want to be fooled anymore. I guess, it is just going to be you and I. Let that be enough for me. God, I know you are enough, but I need to be reminded daily. Take my life and make it yours. Jehovah, keep me from myself. Abba, keep me from getting angry at you. I now realize that I must have misunderstood you someway. I thought you were building me up to be a caring husband and father. Maybe it is true that you have given me too much love to share with just a few, that I must share it with everyone I come in contact with. But why can I not do this with the love of my life by my side? I may never know, but I trust you. I trust in you to shower so much love over me that it will compensate for the love I don't receive from mere mortals. The only thing I have ever asked for was to be loved and be able to love. You have shown me this is possible, yet in a very hurtful manner. If I must disconnect from those around me in order to have the love from you, I will. Let me surrender my all unto the Joy of you, my God. I am sorry for the hurt I have brought to you in my anger. I pray that one day you will open up my eyes and help me understand, Lord Jesus.

Why did you adopt Lydia? To kill her?

Investigative Report: Spare the Rod Spoil the Child? VIA Presstorm

The above is a news article published about the death of a 7 year old formispronouncing a word from the bible. Reading through this article I couldn't help but to have my blood boil. Red in the face and full of rage, I read on about these "Christian" "parents". No true Christian, and no true parent, would EVER succumb to such treachery. This was NOT something God wanted them to do. Jesus came to this earth to spread the message of  LOVE, not murder. To beat a child to death with a piece of PVC pipe is not love. Nor is it love to punish a child, a 7 year old at that, for mispronouncing a word in the Bible! I just can't understand what would ever make a person think that any of this was okay. The "dad" is to receive a mere 22 years in prison? I think he should serve a year for everyone one this child was robbed of. The average life expectancy in America is 78 years. That's 71 years this child has been brutally beggared of. Give the sick man 71 minimum!