Mother's Day

"Happy Mother's Day to the best mother I could ever ask for!" "On this day, I wish to give thanks to my mother for giving me guidance all throughout my life!" "To the best mother in the world, I hope you are able to enjoy this day. You deserve it!"

As I open up Facebook, these are the types of postings that flood my news feed. Whilst reading though them, I feel myself growing jealous, angry, and even depressed. I'm happy for the people that are able to sincerely pay tribute to their mothers, but I also tend to covet them at the same time.

In 1999, I was nearing the end of my 3rd grade year. It had been a particularly difficult year for me. You see, this had been my first year at a new school. There were very few people I liked, and even less that I considered friends.

My teacher, Mrs. Weaver, wanted to throw a Mother's Day celebration. We were to invite our mother's to come in and we would share our love for them with our class. I was very excited to go home and invite my mom to come in and enjoy the day with us. I told my mother about it and she said she would try to get off work early enough to make it.

The next couple of days in class, we spent time making gifts. One of them was a felt black bear holding a heart with our school picture in the center of the heart. I was very proud of this, and couldn't wait to give it to my mom during our celebration.

I made sure to remind my mom often about the celebration at my school. I couldn't wait to give her the things I had made and hoped she would be as proud to receive them as I was to make them. She assured me that she would try her best to make it there.

The day had finally come to celebrate our mothers and give them our gifts. One after one, each student's mom walked in. Through each passing shadow, I hoped to see my mom walk through the door.

Time grew on, and I continued to anxiously await the arrival of my mother...she never showed up.

"She must have got stuck at work." I thought to myself.

So that I wouldn't feel left out, Mrs. Weaver asked an assistant teacher to be my 'stand-in' mother. I hated seeing all of the other kids being so happy with their moms and having fun showing them their gifts. I remember wishing my mom never started working so she could have been there.

At the end of the day, my teacher told me to take my gift home to my mother. She said that she would still love to see it.

As I walked home, I held my felt bear. I couldn't wait to give it to my mom when she got home from work.

When I walked in the door, she was already home. I was confused, but maybe she had just got there. I reminded her that we had the Mother's Day celebration at school that day and she said she forgot about it.

The more she talked, the quicker I realized that she was drunk. I distinctly remember going into my room and crying for hours. "Why does she have to drink so much?" "Why couldn't she love me enough to not drink for just one day?" The more the questions streamed through my head and the tears down my face the more I hated her.

Since then, I have had a few stand-in mothers. A few women in my life that have been there through the ups and downs. We've shared laughter and tears. A few women, to whom I a truly thankful for.

I wish I had time to give individual praise to each of these women. Without them, I'd be even more lost than I currently am. Alison SilverRaven, Stefanie Scott, Kathy Trusty, and Aunt Karen; You all mean more to me than I could ever adequately express. Thank so much for being there with me through the thick and thin, the good times and the bad, you are truly a blessing sent from God. I love you!